Wait A Second... This Isn't My Bus
"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” – Paul Coelho,
Hello Dear Friend,
Well it’s mid-July and it’s pretty safe to say that summer has downright smacked the Carolina Mountains with a miserable sticky air. Yes, I said miserable I'm not a fan of summer. Actually, I never have been, I hate it and have been despising it since I was a kid. In the town where I live most people greet summer like I greet fall and winter. They start the conversation out with, “This weather is perfect! It just needs to stay like this all year long.” To which I usually respond with a grunt followed by, “It’s too hot.” So it probably won’t surprise you much to hear that I tend to get some looks when I say I hate it and can’t wait for cooler weather to arrive. I hate stepping outside only to find that my entire body immediately feels sticky from all the moisture in the air and there is really only one word to be said…YUCK!!!
Have you ever stepped onto the wrong bus? The door closes and the bus-driver pulls away right around the time it hits you…this is not my bus. You did it again! Before you knew what happened you hopped onto the wrong transportation headed in the opposite direction of where you intended to go.
I feel like that's the way my mood has been lately, the exact opposite of what I intend. I suppose you can blame it on Covid19 since even this Introvert Queen has grown tired of social distancing, or the blame could fall on my current lack of restful sleep due to a stuffy bedroom, or maybe it's a poor diet, or that I'm not hydrating enough, or the growing weight of this hurting world is getting to heavy, or whatever excuse you find fitting. Whatever it is, I've felt my mood shift and have unintentionally jumped into the wrong bus with the door swinging shut behind me. I am trying my best to stay positive, to hop off the bus and put as much distance between me and this newfound funk as quickly as possible.
So as I attempt to make it through the heat and humidity of the season until the summer is drifted off by the sweetness of cooler autumn winds let me tell you what my free time looks like. I’m focusing on living a healthy and intentional life. In order to do so I’m beginning to make some changes that must happen in order to care for my body and soul. During most weekends my face remains free from makeup. What’s the point anyway since you've got to wear a mask if you go out to do anything. My hair is usually up and often mimics The Friz in the mornings, Okay so maybe it looks that way most of the weekend not just in the morning. In case you didn't grow up in the 90’s or have kids that did, Miss Frizzle a.k.a. The Friz was the beloved science teacher from The Magic School Bus.
This season my weekends are filled with getting up early and getting errands and/or chores done before the temperatures rise too much while I sip on a cold brew coffee, a bottle of water, or a tall glass of iced tea, and positioning the fan so that it blows semi-cool air on me. Once I feel I’ve accomplished something I reposition the fan and camp out on the couch to either; binge Netflix, surf the net or attempt to write with the occasional Bible study thrown somewhere in the mix.
My evenings are currently spent playing Homescapes and/or Gardenscapes on my computer to unwind from the work day…hello my name is Deanna and I’m addicted. I also spend the evenings fixing myself something for dinner that doesn’t require the stove and prepping for the next day while making my way through the fifteen seasons of NCIS on Netflix, catching up on social networks and spending more time on Pinterest than I care to admit. Don’t even get me started on the newly developed dilemma of trying to keep my herbal garden alive. Oh and this past week I’ve ended my evenings by watching one of the twenty-three Marvel movies before calling it a night and hitting the sheets.
Also newly developed as of this past Monday, I’ve started out my days attempting a new routine to include nourishment to my soul. Of course the downside to this is that it requires me to drag myself out of bed a bit quicker than I used to but the upside has proven to be worth it. The new routine is quickly becoming the best part of my day as it has given me sense of calm, positive vibes and has even created a bit of a Hygge environment to my mornings. It’s great! I clean my face and put on my make-up while guzzling down a bottle of water. When that’s done I grab a cup of coffee and my Bible and go back to bed. I prop my pillows and lean back for some soul food, ready to have my “God and me” time over coffee. After that I crank up the music, make my bed, start downing another bottle of water and continue to get ready for my work day. It’s pretty amazing how my mornings this week have seemed to slow down and how I even feel like I have more time to get ready than I did before.
I know these are difficult times for everyone and some of us are dealing with more challenges than others. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, we’ve all got something or multiple something’s that have made us weary. Then before you knew it you drifted onto the struggle bus and into a direction you never intended. I hope you realize you don’t have to stay on that bus. I know it’s hard and that there are challenges you're facing and you stat to question if you'll ever make it off that bus. You are not alone. We’ve all found ourselves on the wrong bus at the wrong time, headed towards roads we never meant travel. Sometimes it’s one small baby step at a time. Choosing to change your current course is half the battle. You can choose today to begin to make changes that may seem subtle yet hold the power to drastically shift the course of your life towards something grand.
My change of course has started out by resetting my morning routine. It’s little and requires discipline but it’s a step towards a better life for myself and a step towards creating a better version of myself that has helped set me off in the direction towards the destination of my choosing.
Baby steps kid, baby steps.
With love,
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